haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize