And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
