I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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