she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Is Oprah even human
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
