Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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