During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
