My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
