dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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