I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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