if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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