My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
