I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
