That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize