Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize