I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
