just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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