i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
