O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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