You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
