my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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