just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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