Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
