I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
