im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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