Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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