Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
