I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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