Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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