If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We got so high we made milksteak
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
