All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
