did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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