I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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