just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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