im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
