its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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