Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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