He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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