Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
