it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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