Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
