We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
