if you like me you must not know who I am
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
