I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
