Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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