Apparently you make a good broom.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
