Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
