I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
