so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize