Whod you bang
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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