Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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