Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do vagina's smell?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just pee around me
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
