chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
