I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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