and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize