we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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