She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Your cock deserves a montage
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
