Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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