what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
