Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
