Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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