Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
