should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
