I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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