We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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