i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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