Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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